Yesterday afternoon I worked on our wedding invites and made booklets with the words for our bridal songs. It got me happy. It got me teary.
I always thought I’d want a fancy wedding, not a large one, but more than what I’ve got planned that’s for sure. I’ve never been interested in dresses that make you looked like whipped cream from fairyland, I’ve always imagined it out in the woods somewhere or on the beach.
Our day will be little like I imagined.
I will be wearing a white $50 maxi dress. Its beautiful and comfortable -plus easy to hide from Glen- and that’s all that matters. I’ll be barefooted and about a week away from giving birth. I have beautiful vintage white rose studs, matching white bead and pearl anklets and thinking of wearing flowers in my hair.
I never thought I would be comfortable getting married pregnant. But this seems so right. Already having four kids, I don’t think anyone is going to think it’s a rushed wedding. Glen’s brother and his wife will be in Australia from England during June so we wanted to have our wedding while they were home. With my four girls and my neice all wearing white, pink, and green floral dresses with their tiny bare feet and anklets parading down the rocky rose petal strewn isle ahead of me; I feel in my bones that it will represent a fruitful, honest, and a raw wedding ceremony.
It’s my equivalent to a nudist wedding.
I want nothing but love.
I want my day to be pure.
My girls and I will walk the aisle holding the bouquets I made from cheap shop flowers, towards the pretty rapids of the river in a place called ‘The Promised Lands’ to Jack Johnson’s Angel. Its sweet, its short, and reminds me of my little angel girls. We will have Train’s Marry Me playing softly while we say our vows. My bridesmaid sister and Glen’s best man -his brother- will let off rose petal canons into the air as ‘husband and wife’ is pronounced. (This really is just for photography effects, which is probably the only thing we’re splurging on, all our family together at one time, I want lots of beautiful photos.) We’ll sign our marriage certificate to Paramore’s Only Exception surrounded by our guests which include parents, siblings and best friends.
Thats if it doesn’t rain. Then I have no plans.
The part I am looking forward to is walking toward Glen, most likely crying, hoping to be able to read his mind which I am hoping will be saying “Yes, I have made the right decision to be with this beautiful, bountiful woman carrying my son within her for the rest of my life.”
Glen’s not that articulate but something like that would be nice.
Well I guess as long as there is a smile on his face and he doesn’t run and dive into the river I can live with just that.
Considering I never wanted to get married, I am really looking forward to it.
We aren’t having a large reception, just a basic family dinner. Our plans are not extravagant, I’m not being a bridzilla and forgetting what this day is about. I am looking forward to being married, joined, pronouncing to our nearest and dearest that we promise to love and honour each other for the entirety of our lives.
It’s as simple as that.
And I love it.