day four part 3

I forgot to mention that I enjoyed my day.

Feeling pretty fulfilled today, though I am beginning to think that fulfillment is not a permanent state of mind. It’s a constant work in progress.

I have been tempted to check out Facebook, which is another no no during our family ‘meditation time’ not so much to get in contact with the outside world but basically to check out on what I am missing.

I’m trying to remind myself that I don’t need to know what everyone else is doing.

I know I have always been a bit of a loner, and I am REALLY enjoying my time out from everyone. I adore my sister and best friend and other people I am in regular contact with but it is nice to feel like I don’t exist.

If I don’t exist then I have no on elses standards to live up to.

By which I mean I feel no pressure to just do what I do.

This will sound odd, but I get the feeling people think I am interesting. I don’t think I am boring but I am no more interesting or exciting than anyone else. But it adds pressure, like people are expecting things from me.

Sometimes I feel like I can hear a huge sigh of boredom from people when I say I haven’t ‘done anything lately.’

hmm…

Our day finally ended about 8.20pm. The girls stayed up later than usual, basically because I was comfortable where I was sitting after reading their nightly books to them and was laughing at them ‘rough up’ Glen. Then Molly for some reason stripped her jammie pants off only to put them back on. Except she doesn’t understand why there are TWO leg holes yet.

My mermaid baby. I nearly cried watching her get more and more frustrated not knowing why she now could not walk in her pants.

Two legs=Two holes Molly.

Don’t worry you’ll eventually grasp the concept.

Alright I should get to bed. Goodness knows I have been appreciating my sleep more if nothing else.

I am hoping to convince Glen into getting up Saturday morning so I can have a nice fat sleep in.

Ahh sleep. Good night.

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