Iphone, what phone?

Now I will probably be the only person with this opinion, unless of course you are one of those people who have said

 “I will never get an Iphone.”

Well of course you will, because everyone else who was once against Iphones is now converting and leaving me behind in a technology-less place.

But I am ok with it. I will survive.

I mean Iphone, what does that even mean? It’s not even good English!

I can understand…..

I AM A phone. Makes sense.

I HAVE A phone. All good.

I WANT A phone. Great.



Then to make it worse…..

Apple Iphone.

I ask you does this make sense………Orange Ufridge?

No, no it doesn’t so the inventors of the ‘Apple Iphone’ are also out to make us look like idiots by joining a fruit with an alphabetical letter and an appliance. Three pointless words everyone gets around saying as if it is a huge badge of honour.

Have you seen my Apple I phone?

Do you want to see what my Apple I phone can do?

When are you getting an Apple Iphone?

My answer?….

Never you idiot! I am happy with my Orange Ufridge!

But anyway, speaking of ‘pointless’ here are some interesting things you may not know about YOUR Iphone.

Your Iphone has things called POP3, IMAP and Yahoo Push. (Hmmm interesting.)

It has an ‘intelligent’ space bar. Double tap for automatically added spaces and periods.  (And I thought hitting space or full stop was a single action for a human?)

1.7 million Apple Iphone 4’s were sold in the first 3 days it became available! (Well omg! Thats a lot. Thats only 1.7mil people who will be lined up to get the new Apple Iphone 50 when it first comes out at triple the price it will be within two weeks of its release!  And will most likely be released within the 6 months after they’ve just bought their Iphone 4. And for those serious about their Iphones, I must add for safety purposes…..THERE IS NO OFFICIAL INFORMATION ON THE RELEASE OF AN APPLE IPHONE 50 SO PLEASE DO NOT RUSH TO YOUR NEAREST STORE.)

The Iphone has moisture sensors to indicate if water damage has affected your Iphone. Well wowweee!)

And you know what I have seen?! I have seen parents sit their kids in corners with the Iphone, I’ve seen these kids play all sorts of brain stimulating (well I am sure they are. Why would we want to turn our children into little zombies?) games and I even once saw a 2-year-old girl watching an entire MOVIE on her mums Apple Iphone while sitting in a waiting room!

How awesome.

I have seen ‘Apps’ for those of you who own Apple Iphones and don’t know what that means it means ‘applications’

Well I think it does.

They can tell you the weather, the news, you can do WHATEVER you want with them.

Because I have been told so by every one of the people who said ‘i will never get one’ who now has one and thinks they are great. Even Glen is not leaving me in the past. It’s only cost him a small fortune in purchasing ‘protective coverings’

Because besides how awesome they are they are also apparently fragile.

Oh dear!

But you know what. I have never actually seen someone use it as a PHONE.

Is it even a phone????

‘What is a  ‘phone’?’ I hear you say Iphone owners.

“It’s an Iphone Cristie.” they reply.

“Well yes, Isee.”

“No! Not Isee, Iphone!!!”


The price we pay for ‘smart technology.’

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