Well yesterday I stated on Facebook that I may be releasing my 4 month old blog. But I am not so sure I want to, I feel so safe right now, practically talking to an imaginary audience. Surprisingly I have had no bad comments or negative feedback, I haven’t annoyed anyone or made people think badly or differently of me.
But what if I do get negative feedback? What if people see me differently?
After I ‘release’ it?
Will it really matter?
Most likely it won’t.
I don’t feel the need to feel bad for who I am, what I have been, what I may become.
I don’t think I should feel ashamed of my past, present and future.
I am who I am and whether you have known it or not, I always have been.
Why did I start my blog anyway?
hmm.. I was bored, is probably the top reason, another was a strong need to be ‘understood’ maybe from the way I was raised or perhaps its just a personal trait but I would like people to understand me.
I don’t think anyone can understand someone completely. Ever. But if I could just give a little insight.
This blog I have also found has given me an insight into myself too. I think I needed that.
The policy with my blog is that I do not re-read any post I have written. also that I do not delete any posts I have published.
I will be HONEST.
I will be me.
And most importantly this blog is for me. I will continue with my blog regardless of ‘readers’ or ‘followers’ I enjoy it and I hope that in the future it will be something my girls can look back on and think ‘wow, she was my mum AND a ‘person’ a person who is not perfect but a person who had perfect moments, a person who made mistakes and tried to fix them. She was a human.’
So never judge a book by its cover.
I am trying to get up the courage to open up my pages and let everyone see and ‘judge’ for themselves.
And man, its scary.
So will I be coming out?…..
Maybe if someone mentions it.
(And may I also apologise now for any typos, spelling errors or anything else I’ve messed up on!)
Thats IF I ‘release’ it.