So I have been lied to.
It won’t be the last time and certainly is not the first time.
I was mad, but now that I think about I really don’t care. It doesn’t affect my character what so ever, to be the receiver of a lie. It does I guess, make me look a little stupid to believe it. It does frustrate me because lying is pointless.
I know because I have lied too, who hasn’t? (And if your saying ‘I haven’t’ right now, well think again because you just did.) Lying is human nature. We tell on average 3 lies per ten minutes of any conversation. (I googled that!)
Thats the small kind I guess. Like when your asked ‘how are you?’ and you reply ‘fine’ even though you’ve just come from a funeral.
One of my mum’s favorite ‘shame my daughter’ stories is how when I was about two she watched me jam busicuts into our VCR and when she asked who did I lied and said it was Nicole, my sister. Which was highly unlikely as she was about 3 months old and strapped into a bassinet at the time. But kids do it adults do it.
Lying has always been and always will be.
And occasionally we feel the need for a BIG lie.
But WHY do we lie?
Because the truth hurts.
Even admitting the truth to ourselves hurts.
I had a big lie…well a big secret, something I just didn’t tell.
It eats you. While your awake, while you sleep.
Finally I grew the balls and told my secret after about 3 years of punishing myself.
(no I am not telling you what it was)
I told all concerned. I spoke the things I felt I should have for a long time.
And it wasn’t so bad. I would never wish to go through it again but I am proud and happy and sleep a whole lot easier now that it is over with.
And you know what? I gained a bit of respect.
That was quite a few years ago now so I can partly blame immaturity or lack of life experience on why I omitted the truth to begin with.
But I have learned that the act of lying is pointless. If you don’t do it to begin with, then you do not have to deal with the consequences later because every action DOES have a reaction, today, tomorrow, perhaps next year, but it will come back and bite you in the butt! I have also learnt that if you DO lie, then being confronted and still trying to keep it up just makes you look stupid, whoever is doing the confronting obviously knows that you are not being 100% truthful and is giving you the opportunity to come clean and gain a little respect for having the guts to just say ‘Yep, you know what, you caught me.’ And move on. It looks far worse trying to build upon the lie and convince people who were not convinced to begin with.
To decide a BIG lie is necessary as an adult is a big thing to do. And something that takes up a whole lot of your peace of mind. Well that’s if you had peace of mind to begin with which perhaps if you can manage a BIG lie as an adult with no second thoughts about it then maybe you need to sit back and think about what you’re doing, and why it has come to this.
There are so many reasons for lying.
To save face.
To get out of a situation.
To get into a situation.
To feel accepted and ‘good enough.’
To keep people happy with you. (This is a big one! I know for a fact there are people who despise me because I have told them the truth when they have asked for it. The truth isn’t always what someone wants to hear that’s for sure!)
Most lies (this I also googled) are for the benefit of the person lying.
Well of course! They are not lying for my benefit! What on Earth could I benefit from having someone I trust lie to my face?
So what to do about this lie? I am going to do nothing. Thats what.
Because I do not have time for it.
I know it’s a lie, I know I will not get the truth. I know I don’t have the time or energy to make a big deal of it just to feel a sense of ‘I was right.’
I have lost a pile of respect for this person however.
Lying is pointless and I know that having to tell the truth will hurt this person when it has no effect on me or my way of life at all.
I am going to let it go.
Tip of the day – Don’t lie. because in the end the only person the truth will hurt is YOU!
Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.