The modern man.

The modern man has no need to club his women any longer. Instead he tries to woo them off their feet. Most men are terrible at it and if he tries hard enough then the female in the situation may decide to give him a chance. Unbeknown to him that he sucked and just happened to look cute whilst pathetic.

And that IS a difficult thing for a man to achieve.

Pathetic cuteness.

However he has just had a huge boost to his ego which makes him decide he’ll buy you dinner since you are such a naive little thing to give into a mans charm.

When really he only wants one thing.

A wife.

No I’m confussed…whats that other thing men want?…

Oh yeah!… Now I remember.

The modern man is still primitive in many ways such as thinking. He will not pursue a female because she is smart and can offer intellectual companionship. He will not pursue a female because she is a great athlete. He will not pursue her because she has a cool car. He will not pursue her because she has a well-paying job, He will not pursue her because of a ‘connection’ but if the female mentions this he will readily say ‘I feel it too.’

He will pursue her because he thinks she’s hot and may have a slight chance at checking out some nudie boobs.

Yet in the process he may discover that she is also smart, funny, relatively useful at other things too. And puts this down to a bonus extras or special features.

Once this modern man finds his ‘bundle’ being the female with the most to offer, the one who he can shrug his shoulders and casually pass her off as ‘not THAT annoying.’

He may decide to claim her.

He’ll stick a ring on her finger which is actually a much smaller, cheaper version of the stone wheel he used to offer potential females. And much less work to produce to mind you!

I guess taking a ring back to the jeweller may be a little more discrete than a wheel back to the masons in case of rejection.

Instead of growling and fighting to the death with his bare hands to ward off any burly men trying to take his claim, now a days this modern man may just decide to knock up his female, which is much easier than flashing neon signs saying ‘off limits.’

Once the female gives birth to his offspring this modern man may actually get a little hands on and only gag at appropriate times like swaddling changes.

Modern man no longer knows how to hunt meat and would probably pass out having to watch the process of beast running wild up to the point of dinner time but still his mother or some other female who took charge of rasing this modern man gave him one skill that did involve handling a raw hunk of meat. Baking a roast. He can do it relatively well and this is usually another tactic he may whip out instead of a club in the early stages of the mating ritual.

Once the modern man has settled down with his female and cubs his ‘seed planting’ desires don’t just disappear. The only difference I can find between modern man and primitive man is that if modern man gives in to his deepest rooted instincts to procreate as much as possible with as many females as possible, he will most likely end up clubbed by his female. Sometimes to near death. Modern man has learned over many, many, MANY, many decades that his entire sex may be at risk of complete extinction if he does not curb his reproducing ways.

He will still check out anything with legs in fur, but has now acquired the will power to say no.

Since inventing the wheel man has become more and more interested with things that move forward. The faster the better. I can only imagine the exhilaration primitive man had as he rolled down a slope at 2kms an hour.

Their obsession has always and always will be slightly annoying to the female, but as long as they are producing the occasional roast and keeping their instincts in their pants the female may just let him have this one along with thinking it was their ‘charm’ that caught us in the beginning.

Primitive man and modern man are not so different, primitive man would never dream of wearing a pink shirt however, but then again some modern men still have issues with this. Primitive man was awesome at hitting women in the head, no wonder they were swoon, it was brain damage not love, but then again some modern men have not evolved enough to realise brain damage is not necessary and is no longer needed to keep a female.

The smart modern man know that females don’t mind a bit of primitive man. Not in the hair tugging, drag me around your cave form but the sweating out the back hitting stuff with no shirt type primitive.

Modern man knows that a massage is better at getting a female to practice the art of reproduction than a still warm ox heart and liver.

Modern man may no longer brings his female hides to cure but a bunch of flowers sometimes.

Which both really were/are quite sweet.

Keep going modern man!

There are only a few things left to learn, like doing things in the precise moment you’ve been asked by your female and not 10, 20, 30 minutes later.

Perhaps mind reading would be another.

Oh and stop drinking so much fermented berry juice!


I mean…beer.

Its so hard to remember which man I am talking about!

In conclusion modern man and primitive man were not so different. Only modern man seems to have finally learnt what the female will and won’t put up with, and that’s the best progress man has ever made.

Love your work man!



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