So it hit me last night, like a fat fish to the face.
I’m getting married.
The harsh reality of it smacked into me last night while sitting on the lounge in peace and quiet with Glen, girls asleep and we were munching mini apple pies when all of a sudden I heard an ‘oh, ow, ouch, hot, hot, ow’ coming from his side.
I glanced over with raised eyebrows and a smirk as he tried to pick up a smily hunk of hot apple off his crummy chest. It landed fair between his nipples. Yes. Ow indeed.
He grinned at me as he finally got it saying ‘Now that was hot.’
And I saw him.
REALLY saw HIM.
Reclined back like that, he’s lucky he dropped a piece and not choked instead. Crumbs clinging to his unshaven face, his hair still dirty and in his special ‘after work’ style, which I actually quite like except that my fingers are black after being run through it. He smells of grease and a metallic-y something else. This I love, my dad would come home smelling like that. And also of cow poop, which sadly yes, I also am drawn to.
I don’t know how to describe my realisation and the way I worked through it in my head, except perhaps in the way I said it to him.
With a thunder struck look I blurted.
‘We’re getting married.’
‘Yeah, I know.’
‘Like you and me, we are two separate people. You’re a man there. And I am a woman here. We’ll be joined together.’
‘Yeah, we will.’ Grin growing.
‘We have to do everything together for the rest of our lives.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ Der.
‘Hmm yeah, I guess in the same way we have been for the past almost three years anyway…..nothing different at all, we just will have the knowledge that we are committed for the entirety of our lives.’
‘Yeah, pretty much.’ obvious.
‘Huh, weird. I mean I knew it. But we are going to do it. ‘
‘Yeah.’ I know this too.
‘Yeah I know.’ Be quite I’m watching NCIS
And then the feeling passed, Glen’s always been good with helping me sort through the way I think. I’ve never once had the thought that I shouldn’t or wouldn’t get married to him, actually he is the only person I have ever considered really marrying. But buying our wedding bands yesterday must have got me thinking………
THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!
He is seriously the most funny person I know, usually by now if someone wasn’t very funny but still trying my full happy laughs would be more like ha. ha. ha……eh….please be quiet.
He’s the most adorable person I know too. I can look at him in times which usually call for disgust and think, ‘he’s just so sweet.’
He just doesn’t annoy me and I seriously think he tries. (In a loving way.)
It was strange last night the way I SAW him, and I still feel a little defeated that I could not describe it accurately here for you today.
But I am glad to just say that I SAW the reality of my life with this man now and it was pleasant rather than after being married and it not being as pleasant.
I am going to marry my best friend whom I love and adore, after the age of 25.
So emotionally AND statistically this should be simply perfect.
Well truthfully, completely imperfect would be a better description, and yet to me, imperfect is the perfect I’ve wanted my entire life.
And now I get to keep it forever.
So if the question is ‘Do I?’
Well YES, yes I do!