A constant purring roar cuts through the blackness.
Slight moist spray plays against her cheeks. The fresh sea smell swells in her nostrils, an exciting anxious fear fills her belly, salt on her tongue.
Black walls everywhere. Foaming gurgling masses unfold as water parts beneath the bows ahead of her. She reaches a hand to the black void beneath, fingers part the black wet nothingness. Phosphorus glows and lights a spectacular trickling trail. She makes patterns with her fingers in the natural magical water that she cannot see.
A chill of cold races up her spin and she huddles into herself tightly. Looking ahead the only way is the path between the shadows. Black on black. Looking up stars fill the blank space. Looking down, the stars that should be up are reflected down here. Time has disappeared. The constant and consistent roar becomes so familiar it is silent.
This is a new black world. With little sparkling eyes. Up, and down in the waters. The only way of navigation is in the mind. Paths travelled many times. Sand bars are avoided by instinct. Hidden dangers in the depths missed purely from memory.
Metallic crinking and cracking as the tinny forces its way ahead.
A shimmering creature leaps from the nothingness and disappears back into it.
She spots a difference in the shadows of the treeline and calls for stop. Silence falls. Heavily and completely. She can feel it. Fingers grope and search and finally find a rough and fibrous rope. Its thrown over the side with a splash into the emptiness. The sound of rope rushing over aluminium is loud. The sound of it being pulled back in and slapping onto the slimy sloshing bottom of the boat. Thrown again and again and again.
Finally a grunt and heavier breathing as it is pulled back for the last time. The dark world tilts under the extra weight. Her hands grab for something rough and rusted, she catches a finger on a sharp edge, the sting of salt tells of torn flesh. The smell of rotted fish and salty brine. A sigh, and the crab pot is thrown back with a heavy splosh that rocks her world from side to side once note of the shadowy landscape has been taken.
Again the growling roar begins and the atmosphere shatters. The blackness holds tight. Broken only by glowing breakers. Suddenly under the open stars the motor stops again. Abruptly. Stars up, stars down, black walls all around. Lapping water slaps the side creating hollow creeping sounds that fill your soul with anticipation and suspense.
‘Have you ever wondered whats up there?’
She glanced up, looking, eyes trying hard to look harder. She had. Many times.
‘Push your mind as far up there as it can go, then go further, go as far as you think you can. Just keep going through space until you cannot go any further.’
She did, and it was so far. So far from where she sat now. Dancing amongst the stars, she could go no further. She’d reached the limit.
‘Now build a wall.’
She built a big wall. A brick wall. Nice and strong. And so tall.
‘Now climb that wall.’
She climbed and climbed and struggled up that wall she’d built up there in the space of her mind. Finally reaching the top, she peeked over it.
‘Whats over that wall?’
More space. There was only more space. she climbed over the wall her back against it. Looking up again, more space. She pushed off the wall, stars speeding by, going further, pushing further than she tought she could and stopped again.
She did. And without prompting she climbed it. And yet there was still more. More space. More stars. Her mind stuck in an infinite loop of pushing as far as she could go, building a big strong brick wall, conquering that wall and coming to terms with the fact that there was simply more.
Her mind could not comprehend that there was no end. She suddenly smacked back into herself. Sitting there puzzled. Her mind still trying to wrap around the fact that there was more.
My father indirectly taught me so much on this night. He didn’t know it. He was trying to scare me. Telling me that we were so insignificant. Small and pointless in the vastness of our solar system.
And it is true.
He did not realise that this would also teach me so many life lessons. And neither did I at the time.
But just like space, our minds and our hearts, our capacity to create and learn are only limited by that invisible wall we build up nice and strong.
My father had taught me by mistake that the wall was not invincible.
Once we learn to climb it and realise there is just more;
more of everything;
We are limitless.
The more walls you build and climb, the stronger you get. You begin to know that once you finally run into another it is not impossible to get to the top and keep going.
Like a never-ending space it is difficult for us to comprehend.
We cannot know we are capable of so much if we think that the wall is our limit.
So what am I trying to say?
Whats the moral to my story?
Just know there is always more.
So much more.
Just keep climbing.