Why???

I have been struggling on and off all day to write a post to signify the fact that we received our wedding bands yesterday, I’m very excited about it, but I just cannot for the life of me commit to finishing it, and it doesn’t have the happy vibe I was aiming for.

Why?

Simply because I am SO annoyed.

I can not stop thinking about a situation that has been forming for weeks. Its like I’ve been watching storm clouds in the distance getting closer and darker. I’ve been avoiding it but it’s here pelting down on my head.

And it is making me mad.

In my opinion I am a helper, I will and have gone out of my way to help people, be there when I am needed. I’ll listen until the cows come home and add constructive advice if needed. I am NOT a taker, I do not use people.  I will admit I am a bit of a loner and like my space. The more I am pushed and pressured the further I will run in the other direction, but as long as it’s a two-way street all is good in the land of ‘Weird Cristie.’

At the same time I don’t like to be used as a door mat, walked all over. I am in no way shape or form a push over and I speak my mind. I won’t smile and giggle and pretend everything is fine when it is clearly not.

I like people because I like people. I do not need other motives. I don’t need reasons beyond ‘want’ to do a single thing.

As difficult as it is for me to trust someone, I trust someone until I have good reasons not too.

And I make sure I have good reasons.

It seems to me that people get annoyed with other people’s success. People are annoyed when someone is happier or doing more than others. I do not need people like this in my life trying to sabotage my happiness or what they see as my ‘success’ I would prefer people who are happy for me, who I can equally be happy for in return at the right times.

Give AND take.

Back AND forth.

50/50

EQUAL.

My skin is flushed, I’m picking at my nails, and I am annoyed. I feel angry and mad that I have been made to feel like this because I was happy. Because I love my children, I love Glen, because I love my family and because I was happy doing what I do.

I am mad because I shouldn’t be mad. I should still be happy, happy with everything, my family, my life, my pregnancy.

Why?!

I am mad that I couldn’t write a happy meaningful post today. I am mad that you reading this now may think it is all about you.

Well guess what?! The world does not revolve around one person.

But for just one little moment, for me and my little family it did.

The world was all ours.

A world of happiness.

Which I guess is why you felt the need to ruin it.

Because it wasn’t about you anymore.

Well I will let you know right now that happiness comes to those who deserve, those who work hard to be honest, loyal and trustworthy, those free of guilt and jealousy.

We will have our little world of happiness again soon.

Will you?

Take a step back and look at the bigger picture for a moment.

Your not always in it. 

7 thoughts on “Why???

    1. Well a person made me feel like this, but in general a few times I have come across people in my life that back away and simply are annoyed that I’m happy or doing well at something I am interested in. Well it certainly seems like it. Just having a big vent I guess.
      I think what makes it worse is that the person who made me feel like that knows why, what, where and when, but is playing dumb. And its frustrating that I seem to end up with the rough end of the stick -if that really is a saying- because I stand my ground and speak my mind.
      I guess this post was just a big complain to anyone who’s ever made me feel horrible. Hopefully I’ll put it behind me now and work on being a better person for it 😀 (I’d love to hear your advice however!)

      1. Cristie – if the person knows what they have done – maybe tell them that you’re not going to put up with that crap and not to contact you until they can “be nice” and not go on with garbage! Take care, GJ

      2. There are always going to be people that try to bring you down, no matter how good of a person you are. You can’t control what other people do, so neever take it personally. This person obviously has self-confidence issues, and like the old saying goes, “Misery loves company”. You enjoy your engagement. It’s your time to shine. Only you can allow somebody to steal that from you. Don’t let them get in your head, that’s exactly what they probably wanted from the begining. If they are denying it, they clearly feel embarassed by their actions. Feel sorry for this person, and keep on steppin.
        xo
        Mindy

        PS I wanna see pics of those gorgeous wedding bands!

      3. Thank you! That has really perked me up. I like that I would have said almost the same words to someone who went through a similar situation. I have a bad habit of not ‘practising what I preach’ 😀 So I’ll be sure to listen to what you’ve said.
        I’ve moved on now and I won’t look back.
        Thanks again for your words. It means a lot!

    1. LOL 😀 No not directed at you at all. Just trying to sound tougher than I really am I think! More so directed at anyone who’s ever thought they had a right to make anyone else unhappy to make themselves feel better.

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