When I grow up I want to be….


You know, thinking over my past I’ve had so many ambitions and so many ideas about who and what I wanted to be. I’ve had so many career changes and tested the waters so to speak. I’ve met amazing people and some who were not so. I have experienced so much good and my fair share of bad. Sometimes I wonder how I have fit so much into a relatively short space of time.

I’ll continue to cram it all in. I know I will. Its my nature.

I never finished school, this surprises some people, and by never finishing school I mean I didn’t even make half way through year ten! I will admit that there were circumstances beyond my control, but I don’t regret not finishing, I’ve learnt so much in the ‘real world’  But since school, I have wanted to do and become so many things.

  1. I did some interior design for display homes through a ceramic centre, and this job I got purely because of my knowledge of fashion (Fashion designer would be my ultimate job!) I knew colours, I knew textures, they liked the way I could create something unique from anything they’d seen and I got the job.
  2. I was advertising manager for my local radio station selling air time to businesses. I got this job because I can relate to people, talk to people and am quite comfortable with nearly anyone. I quit however after achieving the impossible, finding the prices the opposition was charging. I used my acting skills and went out of my way to go ‘undercover’ and get everything so we could begin to be a little more competitive and get ahead, they took my information and used it without even a thanks. Which was ok because I’d already been offered job number 3.
  3. Still life model. And yep it was nude. Stark naked. I was scared but it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. And $30 an hour to sit around in a strange position wasn’t so bad either. At first I was worried and tried to explain away the butt pimple that I am sure nerves had kindly conjured up for me. No one looked at me like a naked person, they studied me then drew. We had a break and they chatted to me over coffee and cake only I was nude. Kind of like one of those horrible dreams you have only it was real and not so bad after all. But I must say it IS hard. Trying to keep your body in one position for 15 mins or longer while EVERY muscle is screaming to be moved. Thats painful. But my confidence soared especially when one of the students mentioned that I had the body type of an old Victorian style model (I think they’re beautiful, you know the ones lounging around on luxurious couches?) This job however inspired me to go further.

    Yep, thats my butt! One of the students gave me their 'scraps' 😛
  4.  Nude model/story writer for TAN magazine. The Australian Naturalist. Not porn. A lifestyle mag for people who were nudists. I had to pose naked in broad daylight on the beach, strangers could be seen walking in the distance. refreshing is one word to describe it. They didn’t use ‘models’ they used ‘people’ Just naked people doing everyday things like hiking and playing instruments. Its funny when I think about it. I enjoyed writing for them more. I briefly did some modelling for a photographic company and thought about doing some ‘plus size’ modelling but my head was swollen enough. Confidence boosting is addictive and so is having a positive body image. I’d highly suggest anyone to try this especially if you aren’t wholey and souly happy in your own skin.
  5. Pre-school teacher. I LOVED this job! Mind you, I only had Bella at this stage. I called it quits when I was 8 months with Sophie with the intention of going back.  Sometimes I think I relate better to kids than adults. They get me. They don’t judge me. They are happy to smile and play games and have awesome imaginations, they are by far more open to my strange random activities than big people. I was more of a pre-school learner, because THEY taught me so much. I learned a lot about the behaviour children have and why, I saw patterns and personality traits that were so different to the ‘big’ people world. Such amazing little creatures! And if I could justify paying someone else to raise my children so I could go help raise someone elses then I’d be back in an instant. But I think I’m more important as a teacher for my own kids at this stage and I cannot go back to a pre-school, while my own children are pre-schoolers.
  6. For a little while I designed and made my own jewellery and sold it online. This was fun and only came to a halt when my relationship got to a bad point and I completely called it quits. Which I now regret because I’d just hit the jackpot, a cute little boutique wanted to sign me up to become a supplier.
  7. I was the volunteer art teacher at Bella’s primary school. This to I loved. Art AND kids! I loved staying up late at night working on class lessons and different art projects for them, making little awards that they were so proud of. We ended up doing props for school plays too. I really liked seeing who was good at what. The autistic kids (which I am so drawn to, such misunderstood souls) were my top students! They could put emotions on paper far better than the top ‘A’ students. They didn’t constantly ask if they were doing it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, they just did. And they did it amazingly. Art is so important, kids aren’t taught enough about expressing themselves. Art has no right and no wrong, just about the only subject in school that has no ‘correct’ way. Kids can be free and go for it. Create what their minds see and love it.  Bella’s teacher and teacher’s aide began suggesting I apply for an upcoming teaching aide position which if we hadn’t moved to sunny Qld, I think I would have gone for.  

Opportunities have come out of being so open and following a non-specific path and I’ve had and given myself many other titles, photographer, herbalist, make-up artist, artist, I acted for a while, I have my cocktail and barista certificates, rsa, rcg, silver service, business administration certificates, fashion degree, I guess I can add writer now to?….eh it really is endless. I’ve missed a lot too like my first job at FDB’s (Fair dinkum bargains, how hickish is that?! Later called crazy clarks.) And that I worked for my dad as secretary for quite a while, unpaid of course. I am sure that on a resume` I look like I am a scatter brain with no direction and I really don’t mind at all. I’ve done some awesome things, and never have I done anything ‘just for the money’ its always been for the interest, for the love of doing that particular thing. I’m interested in so much and I like to learn. I’ll give anything a go if it means I’ll add to the skills I have. The more diverse the better. I refuse to firmly plant my feet onto one path and be glued to it.

What if I miss something far better?

I’ve registered two businesses in my lifetime and had numerous business plans in the works. I only wish I wouldn’t get distracted or my confidence would stay long enough for me to follow through to the final stages sometimes.

I am certain that someday I will be my own boss. I just need that freedom to create. It wouldn’t be about money it would be about passion. It would be for my girls to see that not only can they be mums but they can be themselves. Do and be what they want and what they can. I plan to help them to pursue any interest they may have. Goodness knows if they are anything like me they’ll change their mind about who and what they want to be a million times.

So really I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

I do know that every eyelash, every shooting star, every wish chip (they are the folded in half ones that snap cleanly when broken) every chicken wish bone I win;

 I always wish for the same thing.

To simply be happy.

So no matter where my interests take me or what I may learn along the way, it doesn’t matter in the slightest what we do…………..

 as long as we are good and as long as we are happy.

(Try it all, it can’t hurt!)

2 thoughts on “When I grow up I want to be….

  1. You’ve done some amazing things! It’s great that you have had so many different experiences and that you have gone with your heart rather than a money option that most of us go down! God – I could write a book on all the jobs I have done and sadly most because of necessity not what I wanted to really do. Life is short and if you can follow a dream or a passion – go for it. Your girls are so lucky to have a mum who thinks like you do, and I’m sure that one day your dream will come true and you will be really successfull in another area of your life ( you already are at being a mum and a great partner!)

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