Food chain.

Glen just grabbed the last pear from the fridge and took a couple of nibbles. I then said ‘Stop! You now need to throw it on the floor a couple of times, take it downstairs to the sandpit, roll it around bring it back up and mush between the lounge cushions THEN come back in two days. It will THEN be perfect.’

This is how Molly likes her pears. But then again she likes vegimite toast corners that have been left who knows where, long enough to sufficiently be classed as ‘petrified’ her survival skills make Bear Grylls look like, well a 20 month old baby girl! I think even she would have the sense to start a fire and actually COOK those protein packed bugs he insists on eating raw! I am just glad we don’t have lighters or matches lying around.

Thinking of how Molly seems to find never-ending supplies of food makes me think of the all the food situations in our house (so does the hunger I am trying to suppress!)

Our breakfasts consist of vegimite or butter toast, cereal, porridge at the moment because its yummy and getting colder. Milk, the girls have their vitamin and a piece of a piece of fruit if I can can force it into them. I used to make Glen some breakfast but he’s a big boy. Its tough enough trying to get the girls to make the simple decision between, butter or no butter without ‘ummms and ahhhhs’ from a grown man. He now, like myself, fends for himself at breakfast time. We have had things like chocolate or chips for our morning meal. This has happened a couple of times. Sad but deliciously true.

Morning tea usually starts as soon as the breakfast dishes are back in the kitchen. ‘Mum, I am hungry.’ never seems to end around here. So morning tea is around 10.30ish if I can manage to be evil enough and starve them until then. So fruit, a biscuit, popcorn perhaps, cheese, a muffin. But if I am not on time with morning tea snacks I am then faced with complaining children who wear a path in the floor between the pantry and the fridge swinging off the doors demanding some kind of sustenance before they shrivel and die. (please don’t tell me it’s ever happened, I will never hear the end of it.) By the time I get to the fridge its warm enough in there for our eggs to have successfully hatched into little chicks!

Lunch is quite the same only I ALWAYS try to beat their hunger ‘pains’ I can make 8 sandwiches in under 7 minutes. That includes butter on BOTH slices! I swear there needs to be some kind of domestic/mothering type olympics. I have sandwiches and nappies down pat. Lunch is sandwich and fruit and water. My poor children. Big family, we’re on rations! They complain, well Bella complains about not having fancy brands of muesli bars or those sugar cereal type bar things held together by more sugar and sprinkled with choc chips. She whines and wants pies, rolls ups…she’d like anything anyone else has wrapped in colourful wrapping with signs all over it saying 50% sugar-free and all that jazz. But she may thank me one day when all those kids she was once jealous of have no teeth and large waistlines.

Afternoon tea again starts as soon as lunch is over. Either I am raising giants or I don’t worm them enough, I know it’s not the latter as I get in early, every 5 months.

So giants it is.

Afternoon tea is whatever is left in the pantry after a day of ravenous miniature people having raided it. I don’t understand their constant need to eat! I sometimes think it comes from boredom. I know I do it.

Hmm…what to do? Eat!

We’ve had some issues lately however. A friend of ours was moving away and gave us some of the stuff left in their freezer which included some chocolate ice creams. Glen went to have one and they had disappeared! Every last one of them. Which then led us to find that our two ice cream containers were both EMPTY! Someone in our house obviously had a craving for ice cream.

I blame myself. I’m not the type to offer dessert after EVERY dinner maybe once a week. So the temptation of having yummy stuff just sitting there mocking them got the better of them and they broke. I cannot blame any one of the girls in particular, but I do only have one child tall enough to reach the freezer. But I also know that if she were going to risk doing something like this she wasn’t going to go down alone.

So I guess at least I can praise their ‘sharing’

We also have a ‘goods’ drawer in the fridge which in normal houses is called a ‘meat’ drawer Glen and I hide all our chocolate or lollies or whatever was ours in there. We did share occasionally, but we made sure the ‘sometimes’ food was out of reach of the little people who may think of it as ‘all the time’ food. Some of this has gone missing too…

So glen got commando on us all and declared there would be no more ‘goods’ in the house anymore!

Good tough love.

But what about me?!

I have but 6 squares of my most favorite dark chocolate in the world hiding in my top drawer beside the bed. I am too afraid to eat it. What if he meant what he said?

No more treats?

Even for ME?!

I think that if this lasts too long, I may just fess up and delcare –

‘It was me who had all the choc icy poles!’

‘It was me who ate the ice cream and left the empty containers in the freezer!’

‘It was ME who took a few extra chocolate biscuits!’

‘It was ME, ME, ME who took the nibble out of the cheese and ham that one time and put it back.’



(Not really, but I want delicious stuff back in this house. NOW!)

I’m sure he would sympathize with a pregnant woman and her cravings? Surely? And they are only children after all. Lollies and ice cream and chocolate are hard to resist for an adult let alone little girls…..give us another chance………I can see my plea forming already.


Chocolate here I come!

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