I had a really girly day yesterday. Bella, Sophie, Violet, Molly and I made cakes and cup cakes, we all got a manicure, chatted over folding the washing, watched some girly teen show on telly.
And I was suddenly a little worried about Buddy.
What are we going to do? Go buff his bike, then kick a soccer ball, chat about the latest engine parts for the coolest cars and watch some babes in biknis special on tv instead?
I know he’ll be fine and fit in like he was always here when he does eventually arrive but its hard to see how at the present moment. I never thought I would have a son. When Glen and I decided on just one more, I hoped for a boy, more so for Glen’s sake but I just assumed I would have another little girl to paint toe nails and fight over hair brushing. I had images of myself proudly checking out sparkling pink dress racks with five giggling girls trailing along. What’s Buddy going to do? Bring him a tonka and sit him in the corner while we do our ‘thing’?
The moment I heard the ultrasound lady say the word ‘boy’ I was amazed and I bawled, and sobbed.
*gulp* A boy! *sob, sob* Sorry….. *blubber* I’m such…. *sob* an Idiot! *sob, sob*
I’m so happy to have him on the way. And I know that when he’s small he’ll be sleeping and feeding and looking around and then sleeping, but what about when he’s 3 or 4 or 5. Barbie dolls and glitter and hairbands float around our house. Nothing much is blue. I don’t wear make-up regularly or ‘dress up’ too often but I am far from a rough and tough soccer mum. I have no clue about footy or trucks, cars motor bikes or anything remotely boyish…..
I think that the woman has more to do with gender selection than documented. I know about the male’s sperm being the deciding factor, in fact I know way too much about reproduction, conception, pregnancy and the after math. I can’t help but think there is more. I know women who have a pile of boys, but it ‘suits’ them they know boys and are a little boyish themselves. Just like I am girly and ‘know’ girls and I’ve had nothing but, until now. And the women with a mix seem, to me, suited to it. I feel like its natures way of producing the best of the best. Give them what they’re good at type thing. Perhaps the womans chemicals at different times in her life are more receptive to boy or girl sperm going off her hormones or something? It cannot be completely random, can it? I don’t know what I am saying but I think there’s more.
Maybe I was just so ready for a boy it finally happened.
Glen and I used a gender prediction book and literally ‘went by the book’ trying for a boy. I must say it was a hilarious and difficult thing to do, and in the end after trying for two months without success we decided to quit the following month. All our ‘book work’ went out the window and whatever happened, happened.
And it happened!
Still we ended up with a boy?… Without the techniques from the book.
Perhaps we were just ready.
I think at least for a day or two I will have a slight panic attack when I open that little stinky nappy to find a foreign object hiding in there.
I think my biggest worry is that I know my girls, I know what I am doing, I know that at the end of the day they are all just children and need to be loved and cared for in the same way, but this is a little spanner in my works. I am worried I will adore him too much, that he will be the only boy AND the baby that he’ll be spoilt rotten. There will be no hand me downs for Buddy, everything he gets will be new, the only boy. His sisters will notice this. I have so many hopes and dreams for my girls to become strong independent women who live by their own rules. I hope the same for Buddy but I don’t know if I am going to be too hard on him in the ‘respect for women’ area. I guess he’ll probably sort that out on his own having 5 ‘mums’ all to himself. I’m worried I won’t allow him to be a ‘boy’ I know women who allow their boys to just find a patch of grass, drop their pants and do their business. I don’t approve. I don’t think they’d be too happy if I let my daughters squat in the corner so I will not allow Buddy to do it. If I have to walk 5 minutes to the toilet for my daughter, I will do the same for my son. I also know some women who don’t mind if their sons swear, I do. My children don’t swear, regardless of their sex.
Another thing I don’t like? The saying ‘boys will be boys’ its like a get out of jail free card for naughty boys!
But what if these are necessary ‘manly’ things???
What if I stunt his ‘man’???
We’ve been told 3 times no that yes Buddy is in fact a boy.
I still don’t think it has sunk in.
I am sure the moment I am holding him everything I have over thought and had concerns about will fly out the window.
He will be my baby after all. And I can’t wait to meet him.
I just hope he feels like he fits in.
And if not, Glen and Buddy may have to take up a hobby together.
As long as it’s not knitting.