The main question I get asked?
How do you do it?
Well this is how….
When Molly was a baby, I position myself roughly in the middle of the kitchen, with a toddler laden high chair furthest from the stove, a wooden spoon in one hand, which I would trade for a baby spoon as my other arm is supporting a breast feeding baby. I have dinner down pat now, stir, feed, stir. Bigger ones come into the danger zone? Well they must be prepared for a creepy one armed thriller type pose and a growl/snarl which sends them running ‘out’ of the danger zone, stir, feed, flip, feed, brup, growl. (The part with using fun to avoid danger? They keep coming back for more. *sigh*) I’m glad we had a little gap as Molly has been out of her high chair and feeding herself for nearly a year!
Tonight I realised I could peel potatoes at the sink and use my right foot to gently nudge a child out of my bottom drawers then shut it, without stopping my peeling, someone came in for a drink, in one quick motion I dropped the peeler, grabbed a cup, filled the cup, passed the cup, grabbed the peeler.
I have an audience every time. Simple as that. Unless I want to sit on our throne and listen to the blissful bashing and screaming of children -who you would think would be grateful to be left out?!- I use the word ‘blissful’ because really if I used any negative word to describe the …hmmm…symphony of our daily life, I think I would ‘enjoy’ it so much that I would break down emotionally. One passes me a single square of toilet paper, whilst another climbs the baby bath to turn on the taps full blast, another is putting toys into the bottom of the shower into the residue water.
Needless to say I hold on for as long as possible. This is one room where I cannot physically stop them from doing a single thing, I know I could swing my legs like a maniac and stretch as far as possible with my arms, but really, going to the loo is just about the only ‘break’ I get so, I try to savour that sitting moment.
Putting my ‘angels’ to bed is not so bad. I look forward to the end results. It is my mission to send my kids to bed happy. A story book involves many people on my lap, shoulders, head, face sometimes. Sometimes one on the boob too! Once stories and chats are over Molly and Sophie are first, Molly may decide to squawk a little, she demands her teddy which over the past week she has drowned in a bath and then let it sleep in the dog house for the day. Ew and no she didn’t sleep with him, it took her a little while to get over. Sophie’s pretty good AFTER she makes me promise to do a million things with her the next day which if don’t follow through with she pulls out puppy eyes and makes me feel horrible.
Violet is next and difficult yet funny, she won’t let us hug or kiss her she does however giggle while she says ‘I don’t like you’ and ‘I hate you get away from me.’ Until we catch her and give her one anyway. She then makes us cover her with her blankie and pretend we cannot find her. Last night, very tired I counted to 3 lazily and said ‘I found you!’
‘NO! You didn’t look around for me mum!’
Goodnight Violet…that was never going to end.
Then Bella who takes forever and for someone nearly ten has millions of excuses.
So I was talking to my sister on the phone this afternoon, chatting away. I was holding the phone with my shoulder which for me is really hard, my woman neck wasn’t made right for it. I also was patting Buddy who was crying over a bout of wind, I was also writing a status for my Facebook page and trying to stop Molly from drinking my coffee and pulling tissues out of the box.
I suddenly stopped. Went silent.
‘I reached it.’
‘What?’ Nic asked.
‘My multi-tasking threshold. I reached it.’
“Really?’ Nic actually sounded concerned. “How do you know?’
‘Well I was writing- “Just posted links to my 2 first posts ever! So weird, I’d Molly!….”
“I can’t hold a phone conversation, settle a baby, read and update my status AND discipline my child.” I replied shattered.
Yeah it really sucks!
My mind began blending everything together, I was about to yell at my little girl over Facebook on my Yager Babies blog page -somehow that doesn’t seem appropriate to me- settle my laptop, update my baby, and converse with the tissues.
I probably was about to begin one-handed typing on Molly’s face!
Some days just run away from me, I seriously don’t know where they go. I give lunch to kids on bench tops so I can chat to them and wash dishes, my kids think its fun to now put things on the front of the treadmill, kinda fun, it’s now an obstacle-mill, I can pour drinks while on an incline of 10 doing 5.5k’s not for me, for them! I can dance while folding washing and play chases while putting it away.
I have to tell them they are on a boat in deep shark infested ocean so they’ll stay on the couch til my mopping is dry, I sometimes even tell them the police will turn up if they don’t stop running in the house while I am vacuuming.
Some days I wish I didn’t have anything to do.
Some days suck.
Tomorrow will suck most, I’m going to be sicker than today.
Most days I like everything, or at least somethings.
Most days are busy and flash by in a blur.
I seriously have reached my multi-tasking threshold and right now….Violet starts screaming because Molly put a chair on her leg.
I don’t know.
But incidents like that make me realise that ….
You know? I don’t know what that makes me realise.
I am getting sick and that is my only excuse for not keeping up.
I’m trying; as I know that the moment I am well I’ll have my work cut out for me trying to catch up. Which will involve a heck of a lot of multi-tasking.
I’m going to have to push through my threshold and past my ‘invisible’ limit…again.
So, as you can see with my constant straying from topic, I am loosing my multi-tasking edge as during this post I have been cooking a baked chicken dinner -I said that to sound impressive, but really who CAN’T put a chicken in the oven? Hours ago too, so in all honesty I’ve done no cooking- I have chased kids away from the hot oven however and removed a chair from ones leg, got cranky at Bella for ‘saving’ a chair for Molly which made Violet scream.
But the only answer the question I get asked most??
How do I do it???
If it has to be done?
I shut up and do it.