You totally thought I was going to go with that didn’t you?
Well I’m not.
Plus I’ve already been there. (see Don’t hit me baby one more time.)
Is getting a boob job an open invite for people to stare???
Depending on the person who got the boob job.
Ok so we all know the kind of women who get a Pamela job just to get a tad bit of attention, they are that large and that hard that if she fell down they’d rebound horribly. Probably bounce around like a bouncy ball in a bath tub for a while.
But there are other reasons women get boob jobs and not all for attention grabbing type reasons.
Personally I wouldn’t mind some boobs. Some boobs that aren’t swinging around down there in the spring breeze. I’d LOVE to have the option of popping down to the shops for some milk without having to quickly whack on an uncomfortable bra just so no one stares. And I don’t mean in a good way, we’ve ALL seen that odd lady in the milk section with boobs tucked into her belt with her little nips of high beam!
You can’t NOT look!
Why would I want some? Well I was only 16 when I had my first baby! Looking back I had nice perky boobs, a pert butt and flat tummy which was free of stretch marks. But I was a child. I was totally unaware of what I had. I hadn’t got to an age where my body had grown and settled into its woman form.
After growing five babies and feeding just as many with my body, it is a little worse for wear. I wouldn’t even attempt to pull off a Pamela or even anything relatively close to it. But I do feel that now that I’ve closed up shop and no longer a baby making factory that it would one day be nice to get a bit of ‘me’ back to its original state.
Maybe not to original state but fuller. So I can brush my teeth without slapping my knee-high children in the face -totally kidding there- seriously though if my bra isn’t good enough I have to HOLD them while on the treadmill! I’d like to wear a nice dress and not have to tuck them in!
I’d like to look in the mirror and say ‘hello puppies!’ in a high pitch idiotic squeal, not ‘hello you old dogs!’ perhaps in Julia Gillards voice.
When I ask Glen what he thinks of my boobs he says (after lowering….lowering..yep way down..his eyes….pause…) ‘I like em!’
I don’t want nice boobs for you, for Glen, or anyone else. I want them for me. I’m happy to say I have ‘working’ boobs. I am happy to say they’ve supported the life and growth of each of my plump little babes.
But soon time will come for them to retire and what better way than to spend the end of their days than relaxing and possibly caravaning around australia…..
I mean, working boobs are good boobs they are serving their purpose and doing the work that nature intended but they are still young! They have so much life ahead of them, they need a new start -or else imagine them in 10 years time- a new start to a new life free of slave labour and demand feeding.
You know what my boobs are like?
My boobs are like a 50-year-old lady who looks like she’s 80 because she wore teeny weenys and sun-baked far too much in the 60’s!
My sister and I used to laugh and sing ‘Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a military solider? Do your boobs hang low?’ (Its meant to be ‘ears’ and I think I got the lyrics wrong, but you get me) We’d sing it about our mum shhh…But whilst reading ‘puberty girl’ (see the birds and bees scared me.) with Bella I read that if you want to know what your boobs will be like check out your mum.
Oh damn it!
Thats why! Thanks tonnes mum, and guess what? You’ve condemned my daughters too!
Thanks Nan! (Goes way back, now that I’m thinking about it.)
So anyway, not that I have any appointments to PAY to take my top off for random people booked or anything. Me getting a nice new reasonably sized set of boobs is like dreaming about winning lotto.
It would be nice but highly unlikely.
BUT if one day I am seen with fuller, non tucked into my belt boobs I do not give you permission to stare.
If I want you to stare then WAIT for your invitation do not expect one JUST because I had a boob job.
No one has the right to ‘stare’ at anyone else body in an inappropriate way regardless of what you have or have not done with your own body.
Unless of course you want them to and in that case your probably the girl walking down the street in a hot pink sequined mini skirt and tank top.
Power to you badly faked tan lady!
Like your boobs!