What are we doing ladies?

Last night I went out, I plastered that fact everywhere so if for some strange reason you didn’t know. Well now you do.

It was a fun fashion parade to raise money for cancer, which considering my grandmother and my aunt have passed away from that very same thing, so I was happy to be there supporting the cause.

I had a ball!

Not one of the ladies who modelled for the parade were anywhere close to the cat walk models we see on tv. But I smiled away. I was so darn proud of these confident women in many sizes and shapes flaunting what THEY’VE got, proudly. Not all were perfectly tanned, not all were thin, yet each one was beautiful in her own right.

I kept thinking how fun it would be to be modelling those clothes, they were mucking around and having so much fun. They were inspirational.

“You go girls!”

But then I looked around.

It was clear that not everyone had similar thoughts. I could see women pointing and gossiping, pointing out what they didn’t like about each and everyone.

Not many but there were some.

Totally human nature, but I doubt any of the ones who had something to say would have had the guts to do what those ladies were doing. I felt a little sad that they were possibly intimidated by them.

I felt annoyed because they had no right to pass judgement. Us women pass judgment on EVERYTHING too, clothes, bodies, babies! The works!

At the end of the day, if there were no models, there would have been no fashion parade which is why we were there.

What are we doing ladies?!

How come it is so hard for some of us to just be happy for others, especially other women? How come we can’t compliment someone if we think something nice about someone.

And how come if we aren’t 100% happy with ourselves we think we have the right to try and bring others who have mastered that tough task, down?

I’m that weirdo who tells you how beautiful your hair is in the pub toilets! I love random comments from random people and if I think someone is pretty, stunning, cute or whatever; I know that even if they think I’m a weirdo, they’ll have a little smile.

There is something about saying something nice to someone you don’t know that makes you feel good too. Much nicer than the feeling of envy bubbling away in our bellies.

It’d be so nice if we could all start supporting each other, rather than competing or judging. We cop so much as it is, we strive so hard to be acceptable to the opposite sex that somewhere along the lines we’ve become cat fighting idiots! Why not instead of seeing a lady with nice hair and hating her because you ‘think’ it is better than your own, just say ‘Hey you’ve got really nice hair.’ Sadly though the usual repsones is “Really? oh I’m having so much trouble with it!” or the likes.

It’s hard to give a compliment and hard for us to accept them!

(we have problems….)

We NEED to start boosting each other up!

I think the first step to being able to do this and do it genuinely -as it’s obvious when it isn’t- is to be comfortable with one’s self. Accept who you are and what you’ve got, even if your not totally happy about everything, just accept that this is you and you like it all, if you can not handle love yet. Because no matter who you are there will always be someone who wants something of what you’ve got. Be it your funny personality, your awesome legs, your pretty eyes.

Everyone’s got something someone else wants.

But it’ll never happen. You can’t have her hair, her boobs, her teeth.

You’re you, and seriously YOU are beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So dress dramas, I didn’t know whether to wear the coral one I’d specifically bought for the event or an old fun favorite. And then, I dug just that little bit further into my mess of a cupboard and found a tiny little satin, strapless black dress I’d worn on my 25th birthday (YES, amazingly I fit into it again!) So I had 3 dresses and a world of pain trying to work out the pros and cons of each.

I’d ask Glen which one he liked as I tried them on, and I could tell by just the look on his face which one he liked best -yet wouldn’t want me out in it- which one he thought was good and which was the best choice.

I ended up going for the coral knee-length, slouchy neckline specifically bought dress; I also went for the nipple high maternity undies -just to give Glen peace of mind- It was the easiest to dance in, long enough to ensure me plenty of coverage should I somehow fall and I could re-attach the straps to my bra, which god knows I need nowadays.

Anyway, easily distracted. After seeing how some of those women were, I am glad I went for the dress I did, even though I am sure that if someone felt the need to judge me or say something about me that they would regardless, but I felt like I hadn’t fed their critical nature with the choice I made.

I was comfortable, and had a ball.

A friend of mine and I started the dancing, it was past mid night and everyone was standing on the edges of the dance floor awkwardly bopping just a little around the sidelines.

ERGH! so frustrating, they want it, you can see it in their eyes, they wanted to get out there and pull out some awesome and not so awesome moves. I dragged my pal and we proceeded to box waltz in the very middle.

It was like a huge ‘PHEW…’ was let out and then 10 million people joined us.

Why are we like this?!

We are so darn paranoid about what people are going to say or do, really who cares?! We feel like the whole world is watching our every move, sadly we aren’t that important and everyone thinks the same thing.

I know I have wasted a heck of a lot of time being concerned with what people thought of me, or what I did. I finally feel like I’ve reached a point where I can be me, all the way.

I’m as me, as I can be.

This may sound totally wrong, but I just no longer care what anyone thinks of me.

It is like a little bit of mental and emotional freedom.

And it is so not scary anymore.

Ladies, just a little note to you. Be true to yourself. Look at yourself with new eyes, we are beautiful each and every one of us, in our own ways. Someone will ALWAYS want something you’ve got and vice versa. Say what you think and feel especially if it is going to boost the confidence of our fellow sisters, I promise she’ll smile. Don’t be shy! No one is going to punch you in the face for a compliment -hopefully- And those ladies who judge, I feel a little sad for you. I hope you can find your own confidence and self-esteem and no longer feel the need to make others feel bad too.

I think we’ve got to stop ourselves sometimes and just ask ourselves what we’re doing.

Good luck ladies, I dare you to give a genuine compliment to someone this week!

(Bella hasn’t had homework for a week so I’m having withdrawals! I had an overwhelming need to assign a task.)

4 thoughts on “What are we doing ladies?

  1. GREAT post! So true, too. I’m guilty of many of these things and it’s something I have to work on continuously. Thanks for writing about it!

  2. You go girl! I’m afraid that I can’t care anymore if there is anyone on the dance floor or not – it the music is good – I get up to dance! I’ve missed on too many years where I haven’t been able to dance – so going to make up for lost time. I totally agree with you on the random compliments – I do it also! Take care, Gwenda

    1. I get a tiny bit nervous going out there on my own but I get over it soo quick, everyone is hoping some one else will break the ice, a bit sad. I don’t ever want to look back and think others dictated what I did or didn’t do. Enjoy it all! 😀 p.s you sound like you had a GREAT night out!

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