I woke to a strange revelation this morning. I was thinking about a small dog with its head stuck in a bucket. Trying to lick some delicious -surely only to the dog- tid bit from the bottom. Everyone stands around pointing and laughing at him as he nuzzels and pushes that bucket around with his noggin’ stuck inside. He’s blind to everything around.
And I thought……I aim to be like that little dog.
His determination, his drive, his complete oblivion to anything anyone thinks of him as he strives to reach his goal. He looks stupid, sounds funny and doesn’t look to bright. But he’s not a quitter that’s for sure.
After I thought on the bucket headed dog a little more I got over it to be honest, and opened my eyes. Opened them to the high beamed roof of my sisters 2 bedroom rental, looked out the window at a gloomy sky which accentuates the vivid green of the pine and umbrella trees which spread out across the view. The sound of beachy type birds and the surf.
Goofy, contented smiles, the kind that starts from somewhere deep inside then wells up into an unintentional smirk, until finally it takes over wholly and souly into a beamer! Laying there on the air bed, which has a nice hollow until someone gets in on the other side…
This is happiness.
Not just the environment, but the environment of family and love that we’re in.
We’ve sort of stepped back into our glow. Like this big warm aura that hovers over the ‘land of my people’ and we’re back in it. Like a big bath of warm custard…or so I imagine. When you’re in it, it’s a snug smooth warmth, easy to move in and sweet. But once your out, it’s just a cold sloppy mess, all alone and exposed, just plain ugly.
So this is where we’re at. Back home for the time being, in our big pool of family custard. It’s making us realise whats important.
We knew it already but now it is almost like a drug, we can’t get enough and we would like to avoid the withdrawals.
We’ve visited my mum, with her snakes and lizards and rabbit???…and no he’s not food for the reptiles. I’ve got to spend a tinsy bit of time with my baby brother and sister, more today. We’ve spent time with Rob, Glen’s dad, my father in-law, such a lovely genuine man, it feels so good to know that through Glen I’ve also been blessed with extra ‘custard.’ Glen’s aunts and uncles and we’re still yet to see so many more important, irreplaceable family members. My brother and sister Matt and Nicole (The original Yager Babies) and my beautiful niece Lily. The daughter of a sister, I’ve come to realise is a special thing. She’s like my own. I can’t get enough.
I’m getting a chance to see some highschool friends of mine and meet their beautiful kids. I’ll never take real friends for granted again.
Time is something we cannot buy, time is something you can never get back. Take it now and take every chance you get.
I’ve learned that too. Soak it up!
And you know what?
For those who follow along and kind of ‘get’ the situation with my father, well we are going to surprise him. We’re writing up a ‘terms of relationship’ agreement. Which involves, never offering money, never making any kind of mention of money, never offering to pay someones way….basically anything to do with money. It’s not what we want from him and by damned he’s going to get that through his thick head.
We’re going to bombard him with children, happy, giggling children, throw them at him like a game of dodge ball.
We may fail, and burn to ashes. May get kicked in the guts and left flopping around in our own sorrow for a while, but at least we tried. And he’ll know he’s loved regardless of everything past.
Yet, we may succeed. And we’ll have made one lonely depressed, hermit happy. Our kids will get a chance to know their Dardy and we, his children can sleep at night.
Wish us luck.
Family and those who allow us to be ‘us’ make us happy.
Happiness is key to,…… well happiness.
I wish you all the happiness in the world!
Be like that little dog, stick your head in a bucket and forget the world around, strive and be determined. Find what you’re looking for. Don’t quit until you do. Find it and grab it and never let it go.
Then lick it to death….or kiss it!