You know those days?

Today has been ‘one of those days’ it’s hot, and I’m tired and I really didn’t want to do a thing, yet as a mum…there’s a never-ending list of things that MUST be done.

Well as a human in general there’s a never-ending list of things that MUST be done but just a tad more so when you’re not only responsible for your own life but of all those little ones you created.

I got not one wink of sleep last night. My boobs were aching. The last couple of weeks Buddy has been fussing massively, getting distracted from his feed the moment anyone does anything that he thinks may be slightly interesting, even if someone speaks!…He’ll yank his head around while STILL attached so he can get a better look, squirming and wriggling to get a better view. Yes I hear you…’go find a nice quiet spot to sit and feed him.’ NOT possible with 4 others running around. AND ‘teething’ on my nipples, and really it is just about as unpleasant as it sounds. He’s down to night feeds now and sadly, slowly weaning himself. I’m feeling a bit rejected. Anyway, they were full and hurting badly, I lay awake WISHING he’d wake up so I could tuck him in bed with me to feed him. Finally at 1am he did. Just as he latched on and I almost felt a little better… Violet began screaming. After trying to wake Glen got me nowhere I detached Buddy and went to her. She’d had a nightmare about ants, she’s a borderline ant phobic. Sophie was sitting in bed crying because she couldn’t sleep because of Violet, dobbing on her for having a nightmare. After explaining to Sophie in the early hours that it wasn’t right to smack someone for having a bad dream and settling her back down, I grabbed Violet and made her a bed in my room and snuggled her up.

I went to get Buddy back on my painful boob only to find him out to it. Snoring. I tried waving his meal under his nose to no avail. I tried poking him in the face with his meal, to no avail. I jiggled his meal forcibly in his face…..STILL to no avail. *sigh* So I lay on my back, front throbbing waiting for sleep to just take me away.

Then our little ‘lovely’ dogs began to bark. Just when I’d had enough and went to get up and yell at them….they’d stop. 5 minutes later they’d begin again. Frussssst…….rate…..ING!!!

I finally did get up and yell at them, depressingly I walked out to see the glimmer of a ‘beautiful new day’ on the horizon…(if you didn’t catch the sarcasm, well it was thick just back there…<——)

I am used to not sleeping the night through, I rarely…no, never do but last night I WANTED to sleep so badly. But anyway, that was the night that set me up for this day.

We did our 2nd trip in 2 days to the dump….yay, such an enjoyable family outing. Actually I really don’t mind, it amazes me the things people throw out. If it were not illegal I probably would be one of those trash pile climbers searching for interesting treasures to take home, polish up and turn into something new and interesting. I cleaned, entertained the kiddies, facebooked which is now ridiculously easy with my newer phone -not a good thing- I chatted to my sister some.

We spent the afternoon watching Swiss Family Robinson for the 2nd time in 2 days while making anklets and bracelets and necklaces for each other. My kids would never have allowed me a nap so a nice lazy ‘sit on my bum’ type activity was just what I needed…..then again I physically cannot sleep during daylight hours anyway….

Right now I’m so tired, I’ve fixed Bella’s fringe which finally grew long enough for me to do something with it. Did I tell you that story??? One morning I went to put her hair up for school and I was shocked to find a practically bald spot right at the front above her left eye! At first I thought maybe it’d fallen out…then the realisation that Bella at 10 years old….had cut her own hair?! Why, oh why would she do that???

It was bald, like someone had shaved it. She cried as she told me she wanted a fringe and thought she could do it.

I was angry but decided she was bound to end up punished enough when other people saw it and mentioned it, so I didn’t say anything. As confused and perplexed as I was, I let it slide. I did buy her some headbands with massive flowers on them to try and disguise the spot.

She was stuck with the nickname Spike for a couple of weeks too.

Just THAT was punishment enough. She go red, and giggle. Shake her head and mutter ‘shut up…’ as she walked away.

I remember being like that as a kid….getting an awesome idea and thinking to myself, ‘yep I can TOTALLY do that…and do it awesomely.’ Only to try and fail horribly.

I think she’s learnt her lesson.

Her fringe now is cute and pretty and actually looks like it is meant to be there. I also cut Violet’s so that the chunk SHE hacked off looks like it was done on purpose too.

Then Glen’s hair….

He asked for a hair cut. Sure. The clippers wouldn’t work so I put them down and called the hair dresser to fit him in tomorrow. He walked out of the bathroom while I was on the phone making the appointment with a big chunk shaved at the front, a pair of scissors in hand and some random short bits through it, where he’d taken it upon himself to chop away.

“12.30pm ok Mam?” The reception girl asked…

……*eye roll*….”Nevermind. Thank you.” *Click* (phone was put down a little heavy…)

He could NOT be seen like that. Not even at the hairdressers. So I had no choice but to use ‘our’ bikini trimmer to do his entire head. I say ‘ours’ because while technically it belongs to me, I never use it. Glen however finds it a handy facial hair trimmer…giving him that neat yet rugged look. And  if he’s man enough to use a metallic purple bikini trimmer on his face, then hey;….why not?

Anyway, where was I? Tired…thats right. I wouldn’t mind some sleep.

(p.s whats the go with the Biggest loser trainers being naked in the ad??…)

I’ve set my alarm for 9pm. See the problem isn’t waking up as I do that quiet regularly. It’s getting to sleep that’s the problem. I’m getting into the terrible habit of not actually settling into bed for sleep until past 10.30pm every single night, laying there for a good couple of hours planning the next day, thinking over the one we’ve just had and mentally ‘working’ on projects while I physically can not. Then to wake 6ish every morning?…..WITH multiple wake up calls during that period?…

I needed to set an alarm to GO to sleep. I doubt it will work. Once my angels are in bed I get caught up doing MY stuff. Stuff I just don’t feel comfortable doing when the kids are up, or things they wouldn’t be interested in, or things they wouldn’t be able to participate in.

I really should be asleep now. Feeling tired is just hard. I get frustrated easily. I don’t put in any effort what so ever to be ‘nice’ to Glen. I figure he’s a big boy, and if I only have enough energy for the kids then he will survive. Perhaps thats why I was a bit ‘short’ with the whole hair cut thing today. I couldn’t be bothered to think hard on anything, I don’t want to do any kind of strenuous type things.

I’ll do what I MUST on days like this but it is exhausting.

See right now, the house is quiet….it’s cooled down. I’m sitting in the lounge room at our over sized dining table, right up in one corner leaning against the wall, lights off and bar the glow from my baby laptop, the corners of the room fade into nothing….the fan’s whirring and the neighbours sprinkler sounds like an overgrown cricket cricking. Slight breeze…oh car drives by….My eyes are heavy, but I just don’t WANT to close them now. This is MY time.

I LOVE MY time.

No need to converse….I feel like it’s ok to be OUT of the kitchen and feel confident that no one will ask me for a drink or snack. And god help Glen if he does!!!

I feel like I’ve finished another shift. A pretty darn successful one considering how I was feeling. I’m winding down…

Well I guess I should head off on that note, Glen’s just informed he that he and Buddy are watching swamp people….and I wouldn’t want to miss that!!……:P

Ahhh….being a mum. I couldn’t imagine ‘working’ anywhere more exhausting yet satisfying. We’re pretty tough us mums, 24 hours, 7 days a week and never are we anyones priority. Our sleep, or lack of concerns no one except us. We clean because we think it makes us better mums when really the two are entirely separate. We bake, we prepare meals, we wash clothes and ‘do crafts’ We plan activities and we read books….and yes, all is important if you want to think it is.

AS LONG as we put ourselves first just every now and again to make sure WE have the energy and the right frame of mind to keep carrying on day after day. This parenting ‘job’ is the most committed we’re ever going to be to anything, and the crappest we’ll ever be paid. We’re rewarded daily (we keep telling ourselves that…) with smiles and laughter which makes the vomit and pooh easier to handle.

If we don’t demand some ‘time out’ and set ourselves ‘alarms’ to do things like sleep then the whole workplace is going to, suck….really it will.

So I’m off, my alarm will be going off shortly and I’m putting my foot down, well rather my head.

In order to turn up to my ‘shift’ tomorrow I’ll need a  good night.

(Then again I’ll be there regardless…..let’s just there is no moral for tonight’s post.)

Sweet dreams mums!

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