So today I was a little taken back and thankful, I was going to satisfy my need to explain what happened via a Facebook status, but I felt that wouldn’t cut it.
So here I am telling a rather short story in probably a long way.
I just can’t help it.
It’s how I do things.
Probably learnt that from my dad. You’d ask him a simple question and two hours later you’re still listening wondering if he’s actually answered it or if it’s still on its way…
I took all my kiddies shopping. That’s what happened. While at the checkout the youngish checkout chick actually spoke to my kids, as the individuals that they are. She asked them their names and ages while actually making eye contact with them. She commented on their specific personalities and their manners and on their big blue eyes.
Sounds simple enough?
Well yes, if you have 2, maybe 3 kids. Most of the time people vaguely glance over my children, more like counting heads and make comments like ‘you’re crazy’ or ‘you’re silly.’
I normally laugh, make a joke out of it and shrug it off.
I get asked things like ‘do you have a television?’ ‘Do you hate sleeping?’ And yes one person has even had the guts to ask ‘are you religious and have no choice?’
This pretty young lady recognised that my children are individual people who actually matter and appreciated them one by one. She told me I was ‘lucky to have 5 kids’ and that someday she’d like a ‘whole bunch’ too.
Very, very rarely does anyone share my positive outlook on my ‘situation.’
It made me smile.
It’s not very often that people are positive about our big family at all and sometimes I don’t know why. I don’t get why it would matter, or affect the life of some random person we will probably never see again. Sometimes I do, one lady a couple of weeks ago, looked me up and down and said ‘bet you regret that.’ While looking sideways at my kids.
Mind you her 2 were screaming, one on the floor, the other raiding shelves.
Mine (right on que) were being wonderful. 2 in the trolley giggling away, one on either side of the trolley holding it liked I’d asked and Bella handing me things I’d asked her to pick up.
So I kinda get that. I apologise to you random lady that your having a bit of a hard time but please don’t judge my kids based on your own.
I know everyone is entitled to an opinion and most are based on personal experience, but I just wanted to clear up that my personal experience has been great.
I don’t feel like my children are ‘hard work’ or a ‘hand full’ ok, yes they can be, I know a fulltime job in a cafe would surely be a tad easier but I also know for a fact that this is the most rewarding thing I will ever have done in my life.
I’m choosing to do this, it wasn’t forced upon me.
I LIKE it.
I wonder what it is about big families that freak people out.
I wonder why others need to try to bring down people who are enjoying something and make it feel like it’s ‘wrong’ or ‘not normal.’
A lot of people seem to think it’s ok to say how they feel about my family without any thought to how I may feel about what they’re saying.
I mean my kids to me…. are each very unique, no two are the same. They’re all total individuals regardless of their age or sex.
They are each an equally important part of me, none more, none less.
A big family is not really something I’d ever thought about but now that I have one,…. no that is wrong. Now that I am a PART of one I am so very thankful.
And while I know it isn’t for everyone, it is totally for me. So perhaps next time you see a mum with a ‘bunch of kids’ maybe you should try not to stare, not to make negative comments, not to assume things.
Perhaps, just maybe she actually likes kids, she doesn’t need to have ‘reasons.’ Or any that should concern you I guess. (Unless of course you’d like to offer her your babysitting skills…)
I just can’t wrap my head around it. I see kids, everyone’s kids as little original people. Not to be ignored or to be treated as accessories.
They’re mini adults.
They also deserve respect and a tinsy bit of dignity.
I’d hate for my kids to hear these adults saying negative things to me about my kids, as they stand right there with me as if they don’t exist.
It’s almost as if some people think children are an unavoidable disease!!!
I adore my family. Each one of them. They’re all different. They’re all a part of me.
If you don’t like it, or agree that is completely fine with me.
But you don’t need to tell me about it.
On the other hand, thank you random shop lady for having the time to make my kids feel like the wonderful individuals that I know they are.
You miss, will make a fine big family mum one day.
So what do you think it is with big families? Are you a part of one?
Let me know your thoughts or experiences.