My little man

He’s standing there on my red vinyl chair. If the back rest wasn’t appropriately placed I’d be able to see his cute little butt because of course, he eats breakfast naked.

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He’s eating weetbix which he took from the cupboard and lifted above his head, grunting and groaning as he tried to push it up onto the bench top. He cruised to the fridge and pulled the milk forward, stood back and pointed “There it is mum, grab it.” Is what he’d have said if his english was a little more practised.

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To the pantry, pulling down the bag of sugar. To the draw, which he pulls out. Standing on tip toe, reaching, searching blindly with tubby finger tips hoping to find the smooth curve of a little spoon.

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He knows what he’s doing this little one.

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He’s got it all worked out.

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Maybe he’s been here before.

I watch him dig his spoon into his soggy cereal and lift it, dropping quite a bit and putting the rest into his mouth. He puts it down and puts his hands on the table beside his bowl, leaning, looking out at the bush where the dogs are playing.

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“Is it good Bud?” I call.

He turns and smiles and picks up his spoon.

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I love how I know he gets us all, he just listens to it all and you know he understands.

This boy is special.

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He knows the perfect timing for a hug. I think he can feel when there’s a little sadness in one’s soul and knows the only thing that can fix it is a little man cuddle. He just sits on my lap and traces the rings around my fingers while snuggled back.

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No signs of being restless or time for something more exciting.

He’s just happy being happy.

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He’s growing up far too quick.

But I am excited to see what kind of man he will be one day. I was once so worried that I wouldn’t be a good mum to him, back when I was pregnant and we were waiting to find out the sex of our baby. While we were happy with another little princess, deep down I badly wanted a boy, more than I even realised I did.

And then we found out we were having a boy.

I cried with joy, ugly, pent up joy, but then I began to worry. What if I can’t raise a boy? I don’t particularly like nor trust men, will I like and trust my son? Will it be different from my girls? How will I teach him to be respectful towards women and a good dad one day?

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I had so many odd and probably irrelevant questions.

But then I held the little man.

And then I almost lost the little man.

It all happened for a reason. My heart was in need of softening, and now, through it all I have this little person who is just so amazing.

And yes, my heart has softened. To things I’d never even considered before.

His smiles make me smiles, his cries make me smile, his laugh makes me smile, his very being makes me smile.

Maybe it’s just because he is my baby, or because he was almost taken too soon, or because he is my only boy, or just maybe there really is something just a little extra about him.

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He makes people smile.

We’re always saying “Buddy is everyone’s buddy.”

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Well he has just finished his breakfast and taking his naked weetbix covered body for a walk through the house so I’m off to catch my precious boy.

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Happy Baby Appreciation Day. (I totally made that up, but feel free to celebrate it anyway.)

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