Sorry, technical Difficulties

Just a quick ish post from my iPod (which close to death) my laptop from which I write my posts has finally died. It could be just a battery issue, or perhaps moisture damage from all this wet weather we’ve had of late.
Either way….it’s not working.
I apologies for the comments u haven’t yet approved (I will I promise) also for the emails I haven’t responded to.
I haven’t been able to study either which is stressing me out because for once in my life I was in a roll and totally absorbed in the courses I’m taking.

A quick update…we got flooded in! So much rain which I totally loved but when I went to pop into town on the day glen was due to arrive home I came over the crest of a hill to be faced with chocolatey swirls of flood water. The same in the opposite direction!
After initial thoughts like “I can commit crimes because the cops can’t get me.” and “this is like being stuck on a deserted island.” (which I have always wanted.) I realized glen wouldn’t be able to get home.
After he took detour after detour trying to find a way home to us, after hours in a bus, an airplane flight and then the long drive from Brisbane….he was exhausted by the time he reached the other side of the flood waters at around 9pm. He slept in the “hotel Suzuki” (his term not mine) at a rest stop with a beautiful view of the swollen river. He woke early and checked on the water covering the road. It had drained away and he was so excited! He drive up and over the hill to be faced again with almost half a kilometer of more water which happened to be 2 meters or more deep.
The worst part is that he was only 10 mins from home! So close. The kids and I drove down as far as we could and silently waves at the small figure of daddy, who we missed so much, on the other side.
At 2pm glen finally got a lift across with a very kind man in a land cruiser. He thought it was awesome, water rushing up over the bonnet.
We thought it was awesome to go pick him up. We couldn’t get across the water safely until 7pm that night to pick up the small car.
I’m so thankful there are kind people in this world.

There is also a little sad news which I thought I would share. It’s not something I particularly want to remember but for some reason it is also something I don’t want to forget. And i know I’d never have the courage to speak it out loud but yet I’d like my girls to know someday too. We lost a baby. A very very new one. My period was late by 3 days when I knew I was pregnant. It’s just never late for me. Ever. It’s either the day before its due or the day after if anything. Glen was at work so I’d already come up with a way to surprise him. I was going to do the test a week from the day my period was due. Tie the test to a helium balloon and put it in a box and wrap it up.
I thought when he opened it the ballon would float out with the positive test hanging from a ribbon.
I mean I’ve been here and done this before, pregnancy that is. So I was calm, collected and so in awe and amazed and happy. More than happy. I mean we’ve talked about having more, I kind of felt that this baby was “meant to be” I’d even picked a couple of names to run by glen.
The week past I did my test. I had a bit of a smug smile as I did the test and that second line appeared. “knew you were in there little one” as I rubbed my tummy.
Needless to say I was so over the moon.
I downloaded apps from my iPod. Watched videos of the creation of babies. Amazed to know that at the time my baby was as small as a pen tip. And really wasn’t evens baby yet just a byoplast. A little mass of cells.
But anyway that night I began bleeding very heavily. I’m not stupid I knew what was happening.
The amazing part I realized was that I felt quite lost. The baby wasn’t even a baby yet, no organs, no limbs, just a byoplast.
I spent that night researching and reading other women’s stories as I felt like an idiot in all honesty. I never felt kicks or heard the heart beat, and an ultrasound wouldn’t have showed a single thing and still I felt like I’d lost something special.
I felt better after reading hundreds (and there are millions) of stories out there.
The hard bit was deciding if I should even bother to tell glen.
I did. In a message. I couldn’t talk about it at all.
I’m ok now, especially after knowing that it’s had happened for many reasons to many women.

But anyway…happier things now. We’ve been spending a lot of time exploring the property lately and found a beautiful swimming spot with fresh running water. We’ve been taking basket fills of mangoes (which a lovely person down the road has placed a big sign beneath their tree saying “help yourself to fallen mangoes” it was fun, we all piled out and filled our arms with the delicious smelling fruits) we sit in the cool clear water chilling our mangoes, peeling them -and throwing said peels at each other- and digging in.
Such a nice spot, sand for buddy to dig into and drive his fire truck which he nicked from nanny and pops house.
He won’t part with it!

Glen left for work this morning and we miss him so much already! It’s quiet too, glen at work, big girls at school. They started on Friday as we couldn’t through the flooding, today was violets first day on the bus. So proud of my little girl she looks so grown up in her uniform, showing mr o’shea her bus pass. Only my two babies at home.
I think we will need to find more hobbies!

Anyway, I’m off. I think this was pretty good effort from my iPod! My thumbs are sore though.
Hopefully my laptop is up and running soon as I have tonnes of photos I’d like to post!
What have you been up to?
Take care all!

One thought on “Sorry, technical Difficulties

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my #7 – I’d only known I was preggers for a week, and my husband just could not understand my sadness. Still can’t. xoxoxo

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